I probably could have watered my plants with the amount of tears I produced this weekend. Obviously tears are too salty for plants, but that was an attempt of an analogy, people.
Pregnancy hormones are not to be messed with. In general, I would say 90% of the time I'm stable, calm, collected (albeit tired), levelheaded and easygoing. The other 10%... well, you better watch out. For me, it's like PMS, but on steroids and with a side of crazy.
My reasons for being upset this weekend were valid, yes, but the way I felt was as though the world would cave in and swallow me with it. I'd like to think that if I weren't pregnant I would have been able to see through the clouds only after a few hours; like it does normally to get over things. However, it took every ounce of my energy and every minute of this weekend. Truth is, I still feel residual fatigue.
At one moment during my tear fest, I had a side thought and wondered if this is anything close to what PPD feels like? If so, then I'm SCARED. Then I got to thinking that my little episode would probably only scratch the surface of how PPD affects women. Then I feared - for women who do and would have to get through PPD.
I've read depression during pregnancy can happen. I wouldn't label myself depressed, but I would say I have definite low days. There is so much "new" I'm experiencing, emotionally, physically and mentally and it is taxing. It is difficult at times when the closest person to me is the opposite sex and could never fully understand what I'm going through. I have looked to my mother, friends and those who are currently pregnant, and while they are all insightful, the reality is that each experience is different. Sure, we share a common bond, but there is a level to which we can't take ownership as to what another is feeling. It is theirs, and mine is mine. And there are days when it is lonely.
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