Birth Plan

I had never heard of a birth "plan" before. I suppose, why would I? Before I became pregnant, educated myself and dug deeper into what it means to labor and give birth today (in hospitals and in the US), I always thought it was just instinctual. I thought you start to have contractions and things get going and then baby is born! This was my linear thought process- I am women= made to get pregnant= made to be able to give birth.

While my naivety wasn't completely off, I soon realized that today there are options and sometimes if you don't have your own opinion, you become subject to the "way" it's done. I learned that you have to voice what you want out of your own experience before it has even happened! I learned that MANY things could happen during labor and there are MANY options and when I have too many options in front of me then I can become flustered, confused and lose confidence.  The thought of this still seems so silly, but after educating myself about how hospital births generally go and realizing that was never what I envisioned for my own experience, I decided I needed to create a birth plan.

A birth plan is how you'd ideally wish your labor and birth experience to go. It's created in the event that should everything go well, you'd have the midwives, doctors, nurses and doula's follow your guidelines. It's also recommended to have this done because labor is freaking tiring, quite painful... it's labor and who wants to try to think about anything else but bringing baby safely into the world? However, I have an opinion, and I want to make it known. So why not be prepared and simply hand over a piece of paper to everyone that enters the room and not have to say anything?

Below is our birth plan. While it is a personal document, I think it's educational as well. I place no judgement on those who have a different plan. I think that's wonderful because it's yours! This is just what Matt and I would like if all goes smoothly and we can call the shots (or lack of shots... that will make sense only if you read the birth plan).

______________________________________

We have prepared for a natural, non-medicated childbirth. All of the below preferences are assuming mom and baby are healthy and safe.

In case of medical emergency, please take a look at cesarean preferences and we trust the doctors and nurses to make necessary choices.

Before Labor Begins:

- As long as baby and I are healthy, I'd like to go at least 10-14 days over my due date
- If induction is necessary, I would like to try natural induction techniques first: Breast stimulation, acupuncture, walking, intercourse, herbs

During Labor:

- I would like to labor at home as long as possible.

- I would like my husband, Matthew Melander and mother, Beth Roberts, with me at all times as well as Doula Jenna Hamel no matter what.

- No resident students attending my birth

- No IV, self-hydration instead. If IV is needed, please use a hep-lock IV

- No augmentation (ex: Pitocin, rupture of membranes)

- Freedom to wear my own clothes

- Freedom to walk around, use the shower/bath

- Intermittent Fetal monitoring, with doppler or remote.

- Freedom to eat and drink

Preferred Pain Relief:

- No medicinal intervention

- Use of breathing techniques

- Use of massage

- Use of water (bath/shower)

- Use of acupressure

- Use of guided relaxation

2nd Stage Labor:

- Use of a squatting bar and alternative positions for pushing (hands and knees, side-lying, standing, etc)

- No episiotomy, use of Perineal massage instead

- Baby to be placed on chest immediately

- Matthew Melander to cut cord after cord stops pulsing.

- Please allow for bonding and postpone routine procedures.

3rd Stage Labor:

- I would prefer the placenta to be born spontaneously without the use of pitocin and/or controlled traction on the umbilical cord.

Baby Care:

- Breastfeed as soon as possible

- All newborn routine procedures to be performed in my presence.

- Eye ointment and Vitamin K shot NOT to be given

- Full Rooming in of baby

- No supplementation with formula or glucose without parental consent.

- No pacifiers

- I prefer all immunizations to be postponed.

- Bathe baby after mom and baby have had bonding time

- I would like to see a lactation consultant

- If baby's health is in jeopardy, I'd like to express my milk for baby

- If the baby has any problems and needs to leave the room, I'd like my husband to be with the baby at all times.

If medically necessary, Cesarean Preferences:

- I would like to remain conscious

- I would like to have contact with the baby as soon as possible

- If possible discuss all anesthesia options with me

- Please discuss post-operative pain medication options with be before or immediately following the procedure

- I would like to sign an waivers necessary to permit me to be with my baby in recovery

Hey Baby: part 2

Hey Baby,

You are almost 37 weeks! I can't believe you could arrive any day now. Any moment I could start the process of welcoming you to the world! Dad is getting very excited. He's packed his hospital bag and has the car seat all ready for your first drive home. He talks to you all the time and loves feeling your punches and kicks. Speaking of, I now know what they mean when they say you can tell what body part is kicking, punching, sliding or flipping. I always thought it was odd when people would say, oh that's a foot, hand or elbow. But I totally know. Your little feet LOVE to hang out on my ribs. I wish I had a little more room to give you. You like to flip from side to side and I can feel your back pressing on my belly. I love rubbing your back and letting you know I'm here and you're not alone. Your elbows and hands like to jab into my hip and pelvis bones. That, I think, is the most awkward! You're sending mama to the bathroom more than ever before! I can't wait to meet you. Although they say it's best you wait for a few more weeks, just know, Mama and Dad are ready whenever you are.

Some things to note about me at this stage:
- I thought I was waddling before, but now, holy penguin mama. Imagine you have to walk without bending your knees. Well that's how I'm walking even though I can bend my knees!
- I LOVE WATERMELON. I'm thinking you do too because you wiggle and stretch every time I eat some. I'm on my second melon in two weeks.
- Getting up out of chairs, couches and bed are proving to be a difficult task. Your Dad never ceases to lend an arm.
- Fonzie has started to be mama's shadow. He loves to drape himself across my lap. I think he knows you're coming and already loves and is protective of you.
- You add, what feels like 5-10 degrees to my body temperature. You are a little furnace!
- I only wear skirts and dresses at this point. I think to myself, "what is the point of pants?" They're terrible and constricting and hot and really aide the waddle.

Love you forever,
Mama

Herbs and supplements during pregnancy

Like I've mentioned before, I lean toward a holistic approach to wellness. This includes the way I've been preparing for childbirth/labor as well as caring for my baby along the way. Because preggo brain has taken over, I thought it'd be a good idea to document what I've been doing/taking during pregnancy to prepare for his arrival and to remember if, God willing, we are able to have another child.

I am no expert, but I research the heck out of whatever I'm going to commit to. With all things trial and error are a part of the experience, but you know, when you've got a winner, well, you've won!

During Pregnancy:

Prenatal Vitamin : I've been taking Garden of Life, Vitamin Code RAW Prenatal since day one. If this were a planned pregnancy, I would have been taking them earlier on. What I like about them is that they are untreated with no binders or fillers and the nutrients are coming from real foods. You can read up on them here.

DHA supplements: Garden of Life, Ocean's Mom Prenatal DHA. DHA is important for both mom and baby. It can help enhance mom's breast milk and aid in balancing mood and emotional well-being and it's extremely important for the baby especially during the third trimester when baby's brain is rapidly growing. You can read about it here.

Pregnancy Tea: I've been drinking Traditional Medicinals Pregnancy Tea starting late second trimester and throughout my third. The herbs in the tea help tone the uterus to prepare for childbirth. Not to mention, it's pleasant to drink. Since I'm not the expert on the matter, it's probably better that you read about it.

Red Raspberry Leaf Tea: This is what I meant to buy before buying Pregnancy Tea. I switch it up and drink this too. I first read about Red Raspberry Leaf tea here, and continued my research and found that it's recommended by midwifes and doulas. My doula wrote about it here.

Birth/ Postpartum:

I haven't had the baby yet (duh, you'd know by now!), but in preparation for a natural birth, I've been reading about a few things that could help. The Motherlove website had some good readings and products like the sitz bath spray I plan to buy. I was  gifted their nipple cream and I've heard great things! Maybe I'll do an "after birth" post on what I think of these products.

I've also been reading about:
- Shepherd purse tincture should there be some heavy bleeding
- Blue cohosh if I'm WAY late
- Witch Hazel pads to ease perineum discomfort after labor.

Baby had a shower & musings

Two weekends ago, two dear friends threw Matt and I a baby shower! My mom and Mischon both flew in to help celebrate! Tessa and Sarah, the lovely hostesses, brought over decorations galore and we wined and dined all brunch long with sweet friends. I was overwhelmed with the love and support from our family and friends. Baby is one blessed little boy.

I'm about three weeks away from baby arrival! It's a little wild to think that he could be with us at any moment. Over the weekend Matt and I got our bags all packed and they are ready to go by the front door. Three in total, mine, his and babes. It's a little hard packing for someone who's not here yet. I don't know if he'll fit into the clothes I chose for him. I don't know if he'll be too hot or cold and quite frankly, I don't know if I have the right things packed! I've compared lots of lists as well as considered my Doula's recommendations. But who knows!?

The heat. Summer has arrived and HOLY CRAP does it feel like I'm wearing a down coat I can't take off. It's hard to think straight (pregnant brain, which is REAL, plus heat is a rude joke) and function in the heat. My mind goes to slush, my fingers and feet swell, my veins go from stream sized to rivers (think men on steriods). My upper lip has a perpetual sweatstache and I want to rip all clothes off. Too bad I'm sitting in my office and it's the HOTTEST room in the place. Cruel. Just. Cruel. I feel absolutely terrible for those who have to endure the whole summer. I want to send them all tickets to Antarctica. Or maybe the North Pole. Somewhere far away from the equator.

Pregnancy & Beauty Products

I've "inherited" my mother's love of beauty and skin products. It's not something I'm exactly proud of. The frugal side of me thinks, "what a waste of money." However, there's also the little girl who still hears her mother's voice in her head telling me to "take care of my skin now and I'll be thankful later."

Lotions, potions, vitamins, serums, you name it. I've tried it. It also helps (or doesn't) that my sister works for Sephora (I LOVE SAMPLES). The thing is, it used to just be about me. My skin, face, legs arms, my dark circles and dry scalp. Knowing that those creams (etc.) penetrate deeper than just the skin's surface, I've always been a little more interested in an "organic" or "all natural" approach to skin care. All the while, I'd still try out the latest "photo ready" foundation made with who knows what and how many chemicals. As soon as I found out I was pregnant I immediately cut it all out and started over. I sure as heck didn't want to put anything on my body that might affect my unborn child. For goodness sake, the little guy doesn't need unnecessary crap going through his developing veins. What is safe for me and for baby?

I asked around, consulted with friends, family, strangers at various beauty stores, and researched the interwebs. Below is what I utilize daily/ weekly to take care of myself and still take care that I'm not harming baby boy.

Burt's Bees Mama Bee Body Oil. For my ever growing belly. Smells so fresh. I apply immediately following a shower and before bed. I plan to continue to use this post natal.

Alba Botanica Body lotion. All over body lotion. SO moisturizing. Great for the Colorado dryness.

Avalon Organics Vitamin C Renewal Cream.  I use it both day and night.

Juice Beauty CC Cream. I wear it under foundation and by itself!

BareMinerals compact foundation. I find it to have great coverage and feels light and not heavy on my skin.

Tarte Maracuja Creaseless Concealer. I use it under my eyes and to cover up any blemishes. Blends so well and doesn't crease! Really!

Tarte Bronzer. For that extra glow.

Fresh Sugar Lip Balm in Coral. Hey pouty mouth.

Wen Cleansing Conditioner. For those times I actually wash my hair. This is all you need. In one bottle.

Nesting Online

Is it bad that I've only shopped for my child online? I have yet to set foot in a Babies R Us or Buy Buy Baby. I've stopped in a local shop but ended up talking to the store owner for an hour on cloth diapers and didn't do much "shopping."In fact, I walked out of there having bought two wool balls that go in the dryer to help your clothes dry more quickly. Nothing for baby.

Stores like Buy Buy Baby scare me. "Great Prices", "Sales" "Bargain Bins" all give me a little anxiety in a place that sells nothing but baby items. Are they really on sale or is everything else just jacked up so that I feel like I'm getting a deal? Does the sale bin mean something is wrong with it or got bad reviews? Some women refer to it as the mecca of baby stores, but how does a person choose anything when faced with 100 strollers to choose from? Phew, I'm tired and my feet are aching just from thinking about it.

I created my registry online. I've done all my research online. I bought everything for the nursery online (aside from the occasional thrifted item and things I already had/saved). I compared ratings and reviews and watched YouTube videos on products. Does this make me a lazy mom/person?

I can't help but notice moms and moms-to-be on Facebook raving about shopping at these baby stores and having a blast creating their registry. I had a ton of fun doing that with Matt when we created our wedding registry at certain stores, however I feel like so much of the "need to have" baby items out there are just a way to get me to spend money on things I'll never use. Don't get me wrong. This girl LOVES to shop. Pretty packaging and smart and creative branding has a way of wooing me. Maybe I just know myself. Maybe I'm just subconsciously playing defense against my shopping self? Or maybe stores like that bring out the indecisive Lindsay. That Lindsay, when surfaced, usually brings out the worst. And we already know what that can be/feel like. No thanks, said everybody.

P.S. 34 going on 35 weeks!

Tearful Days

I probably could have watered my plants with the amount of tears I produced this weekend. Obviously tears are too salty for plants, but that was an attempt of an analogy, people.

Pregnancy hormones are not to be messed with. In general, I would say 90% of the time I'm stable, calm, collected (albeit tired), levelheaded and easygoing. The other 10%... well, you better watch out. For me, it's like PMS, but on steroids and with a side of crazy.

My reasons for being upset this weekend were valid, yes, but the way I felt was as though the world would cave in and swallow me with it. I'd like to think that if I weren't pregnant I would have been able to see through the clouds only after a few hours; like it does normally to get over things. However, it took every ounce of my energy and every minute of this weekend. Truth is, I still feel residual fatigue.

At one moment during my tear fest, I had a side thought and wondered if this is anything close to what PPD feels like? If so, then I'm SCARED. Then I got to thinking that my little episode would probably only scratch the surface of how PPD affects women. Then I feared - for women who do and would have to get through PPD.

I've read depression during pregnancy can happen. I wouldn't label myself depressed, but I would say I have definite low days. There is so much "new" I'm experiencing, emotionally, physically and mentally and it is taxing. It is difficult at times when the closest person to me is the opposite sex and could never fully understand what I'm going through. I have looked to my mother, friends and those who are currently pregnant, and while they are all insightful, the reality is that each experience is different. Sure, we share a common bond, but there is a level to which we can't take ownership as to what another is feeling. It is theirs, and mine is mine. And there are days when it is lonely.

Midwifery

The other day I interviewed a midwife in the interest of potentially transferring from my OBGYN to her practice.

As I get closer to 40 weeks, I'm more and more sure of my wanting to give birth naturally and without pain intervention by way of medicine. While I like my OB as a person and respect him immensely, we don't align when it comes to how one views labor and birth (go figure I find this out after 32 weeks. Rookie). He tends to lean toward pain intervention as soon as possible as well as the thinking that a woman should dilate a cm an hour and if not other steps are taken to move you along (Read: pitocin, c-section) Everything I'm reading and learning about says that first time moms can be in labor for 20 hours or longer and as long as baby and mom are ok that time frame is ok. While some women feel as though they would like for their labor to end as quickly as possible, I want to experience it, pain, length and all. The whole process from conception to birth is absolutely miraculous and I want to experience my bodies raw instinct to do what it was made made for. My whole life has been leading up to this point, and gosh darn it, I'm never fun to be around when I'm rushed (ask my husband).

My worst fear in labor is that I'm rushed into a procedure unnecessarily; that I'm not given all of the options but the one opinion and option that my OB wants. I need full disclosure to feel comfortable. I know I have no control as to what/how my body will react, however, I want to know all of my options and make the best decision for me and baby during that time. I fear that my OB will just choose based upon his (granted, very educated) very obstetrical (Read: surgeon) practice.

Midwives are trained in everything labor and delivery EXCEPT when it's time for a c-section. They tend to aire on the side of natural birth. They are taught counter-pressure for when contractions are exceptionally uncomfortable and painful. They support other birthing positions that make the most biological sense, i.e. standing, on all fours, squatting etc. They tend to utilize water/ baths as a way of relaxation and they are trained to help coach women through their contractions rather than dangle the carrot of pain meds.

Personally, I tend to lean toward an all natural lifestyle and the way of the midwives just fits me better. So, what if things go wrong and I need a c-section? I'm immediately sent to their partnering physicians and they take care of me and baby just as my OB would.

I feel guilty for leaving my doctor after all the attention and kindness he has shown me, but then again, I'm the one pregnant and having a baby.

p.s. I highly recommend you watch the documentary, The Business of Being Born.